23 lessons in 23 Years of Nursing: Celebrating my birthday with hard earned wisdom.
From Learning to Laugh at the Small Stuff to Mastering Health Policy – Because Shift Happens.
Word Count: ~1,700 words
Estimated Reading Time: 7 minutes
Nurse Summary:
To celebrate my birthday, I’m reflecting on 23 invaluable lessons from my 23 years in nursing.
This article shares some of the wisdom I’ve gained, with a mix of humor and hard truths.
From navigating the complexities of health policy to understanding the importance of self-care, these lessons offer insights into the challenges and joys of nursing differently. It’s a celebration of growth, community, and the lives touched along the way.
Nurse tales:
Birthdays are a time for reflection, and this year, I’m looking back at 23 years of nursing—23 years filled with growth, laughter, and a whole lot of learning. As I celebrate another year of life, I want to share the lessons that have shaped me, not just as a nurse, but as a person navigating this complex and rewarding profession.
1. Start with Laughter:
Nursing is serious business, but if you can’t laugh at the small stuff—like realizing halfway through a shift that you’re wearing two different shoes—you’ll burn out fast. Humor has been my saving grace, whether I’m cheering up a patient or just trying to survive a particularly chaotic day.
2. HR: Friend or Foe?
Ah, ..… HR. The department that’s supposed to be there for you but often leaves you wondering whose side they’re really on. While it’s important to understand workplace policies, it’s equally important to recognize when they don’t have your best interest at heart. Learn the policies, and use them to your advantage, but don’t expect HR to always be your ally.
3. Beware of Bias:
One of my most memorable patients was an 80-year-old aeronautical engineer who refused to be underestimated. During the report, I reminded my colleagues to see her for who she really was—a brilliant mind, not just another number or stereotype. Unconscious bias kills, and it’s our job to challenge it, especially in healthcare. Age, gender, race—none of these should define a person’s worth or capabilities.
4. Getting Fired Isn’t the End:
I’ve been fired, let go, and quit more jobs than I care to count. And guess what? I’m still standing. Sometimes getting fired is the universe’s way of pushing you towards something better. It’s not the end of the world—it’s just the start of a new chapter.
5. Starting Over Isn’t Failure:
Starting over isn’t a step back; it’s a chance to do things differently. Whether it was switching specialties, pursuing a degree in health policy, or starting Nursing Differently, each “restart” has brought me closer to who I’m meant to be.
6. Policies Are Your Friends:
I absolutely love policy. I write policy, I live policy, and I understand the immense power it has to shape our work environments for the better. Policies, when written with purpose, are there to protect and empower us. Learn them, use them, and when necessary, advocate for changes that benefit everyone.
7. Teamwork Makes the Dream Work:
Nursing isn’t a solo sport. I used to think I could handle everything on my own, but I quickly realized that teamwork is what gets you through those tough shifts. Whether it’s sharing the workload or just sharing a laugh, strong teamwork can turn a nightmare shift into a manageable one. Some of my most memorable moments started with holiday potlucks and laughter- lots and lots of laughter.
8. You Are More Than a Nurse:
Nursing is a big part of who we are, but it’s not everything. There’s a whole you that exists outside of work. Don’t let the job consume you—nurture your hobbies, your relationships, and your well-being. Remember, you’re a person first, and a nurse fourth. You read that right! Fourth
9. Don’t Forget the Benefits:
We all sign up for benefits during open enrollment, but how many of us actually use them?
It wasn’t until I was dealing with PTSD - racism and abuse in nursing is real- that I realized my employer’s benefits could actually help me. Take advantage of what’s offered—you’ve earned it!
10. Nursing Is About People, Not Just Patients:
Let’s do the math. If you care for five patients a day, three days a week, and each patient has an average of four family members, that’s 60 lives you touch every week. Multiply that by 48 weeks, and you’ve impacted 2,880 lives in a year. Over 23 years, that’s nearly 66,240 lives! Nursing isn’t just about treating symptoms; it’s about connecting with people. Every time you care for a patient, you’re impacting their family, their friends, their community. It’s a powerful reminder of the ripple effect we have.
11. Grieving Comes in Many Forms:
Grief isn’t just about losing a loved one—it’s about the end of a dream, a job, or even a friendship. In nursing, we’re expected to be strong, to keep going. But acknowledging grief, in all its forms, is crucial to our own healing. Give yourself the space to grieve, whether it’s over a patient, a job, or a dream that didn’t pan out.
12. The Power of Advocacy:
One powerful message I learned through Girltrek was from Angela Davis: “You cannot understand the concerns of the Black and Brown community if you don’t understand the concerns of Black and Brown communities all over the world.” Nursing isn’t just about treating symptoms; it’s about addressing systemic issues that impact the health and well-being of marginalized communities.
Advocacy is essential, not optional.
13. Know When It’s Time to Move On:
Sometimes the signs are subtle—a lack of motivation, a gnawing feeling of discontent. Other times, it’s more obvious, like burnout or a toxic work environment. Insert picture of me cursing out a staff member, after a staff member told a patient to shut up. - Yep.. It happened! Or…insert picture of me cursing out another staff member when that staff member said- “he can't really be in that much pain, he just wants drugs. That's how They are.”
Yeah- had to go to HR on that one.
Knowing when it’s time to move on is crucial for your well-being. Trust your instincts, and don’t be afraid to make a change.
14. Cultural Competency Matters:
Understanding and respecting cultural differences in patient care is crucial. It’s not just about translating language—it’s about translating values and expectations. Take the time to learn about the cultural backgrounds of your patients. It’s a small effort that makes a big difference in the quality of care you provide.
15. Representation Matters:
Seeing yourself in leadership positions is powerful. This lesson is about the importance of pursuing leadership roles to inspire future generations. If you don’t see someone who looks like you in leadership, be the first. Representation matters, and you have the power to pave the way for others.
16. Self-Care Isn’t Selfish:
It took me years to realize that taking time for myself isn’t just okay—it’s necessary. Whether it’s taking a mental health day, indulging in a hobby, or simply resting, self-care is essential. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so make sure yours is always full.
17. The Value of Rest:
This lesson hurts bad- real bad!
Rest isn’t just about sleep; it’s about giving your mind, body, and spirit a break. I’ve seen too many nurses push themselves to the brink of exhaustion, only to crash and burn. Rest isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. I’ve lost friends who weren’t able to reach their desires or restart their businesses because they didn’t rest. I once heard a story of a nurse who died at work.
Know what the hospital did?- yep- you guessed it- replaced her.
The value of rest cannot be underestimated.
18. Finding Your Voice and Nurse Differently:
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is the power of finding your own voice, especially as a nurse of color. Nursing is full of systemic inadequacies that can stifle us, but stepping into your power and claiming your voice is crucial. This realization led me to create Nursing Differently—a space where we can advocate for ourselves, support each other, and push for the changes we need. It’s not just about surviving the system; it’s about reshaping it. Remember, your voice matters, and it’s time to use it.
19. Keep Learning:
Nursing is a profession where learning never stops. Whether it’s taking a new course, attending a workshop, or staying curious about something totally different than nursing on purpose- for me its- Agricutlture- continuous learning keeps us sharp. Embrace change, new technologies, and the latest research. Learning doesn’t just make you a better nurse—it keeps your passion for life alive.
20. Patients Are Teachers:
Every patient has something to teach you. It might be about resilience, patience, or simply how to listen. I’ve learned as much from my patients as from any textbook- actually more.. They’ve taught me the importance of empathy, the power of a kind word, and the impact of being present.
21. It’s Not Personal, But It Is:
Sometimes things go wrong, and then absolutely will- messy code, wrong meds, hell… wrong meds to the wrong patient- it’s not your fault. But that doesn’t make it any less personal. We pour our hearts into this work, and when outcomes aren’t what we hoped for, it hurts. It’s okay to feel that, to grieve, and to care deeply. Remember, you’re doing your best, and that’s all anyone can ask.
22. Find Your Joy:
Find what brings you joy in life, not just nursing. It might be the relationships you build with yourself then your patients, the satisfaction of a job well done, when enough is enough, or simply knowing that you’re making a difference. Nursing is tough, but it’s incredibly rewarding. Find the parts that make you smile, that make you proud, and hold onto them. Joy is crucial in a profession that demands so much.
23. Embrace the Power of Community:
One of the most significant lessons I’ve learned over 23 years is the importance of community. As nurses, we thrive in environments where we can connect, share, and support each other. The connections I’ve made—both with my peers who became friends, patients and with my colleagues—have been the cornerstone of my life and nursing career. But it goes beyond just the workplace.
The community isn’t just about who you work with—it’s about finding your tribe, your people, those who uplift you and remind you of your worth. Whether it’s a professional network, a group of friends who share financial advice and start companies together, or a community of like-minded nurses, the power of community is undeniable. Through Nursing Differently, I’ve created a space where we can heal together, grow together, and most importantly, thrive together.
So, as I celebrate another year of life and reflect on these 23 lessons, I invite you to join me in this journey of Nursing Differently.
Let’s continue to build each other up, to advocate for change, and to make our voices heard. Because at the end of the day, nursing is more than just a job—it’s a community, a mission, and a lifelong journey of growth and connection.
Affirmation:
I honor the wisdom gained from my nursing journey, embracing each lesson as a stepping stone to growth, resilience, and empowerment.
With every challenge, I choose to learn, laugh, and lead with purpose, knowing that my experiences shape the person and nurse/farmer I am today.
I am committed to nurturing my well-being, advocating for myself and others, and continuing to build a community that heals and thrives together.
With Grace and Power,
Raine, Nursing Differently